Summertime Means More Time with Connected Technology
by Rick Lawhorn
Would you allow a complete unknown to enter your home and watch or entertain your kids?
In the physical world, most of us do everything we can to be certain that our babysitter checks out okay. It’s ironic that virtually our vigilance can sometimes be much more relaxed.
Each time our kids are sent to technology to serve as the entertainer or babysitter, we are allowing an unknown and potentially uncontrollable element to enter our kids’ lives. If we do not have some way to contain the flow of media at home, we are inviting opportunities of uncontrollable content or contact with our most precious gifts.
We do everything we can to prevent physical harm, but virtual harm left unchecked can leave scars in what kids can see and experience.
Technology In the Home
Our role as parents demands that we treat the virtual world just like the physical world we live in today. In the physical world, we have laws and boundaries established that make our oversight a little easier. We are able to train our children what dangerous situations could look like and how to respond to them.
In the virtual world, this task is not so simple. To understand what we are up against, we have to educate ourselves on the basics of security and apply those learnings to new and existing technology in our house. This is easy to state (and I see it posted all the time) but to put this into action we can use is always a little thin. To help get parents out of that deficiency, here are some facts and actions you may find useful:
FACT: Technology is not limited to just computers and the internet.
Technology is any device in the house that contains video, audio and data from the outside world. It is not limited to just the internet, so think in terms of television, cell phones, DVD players, etc. All the media that comes from the outside world has the opportunity to provide content that you do not want your kid to see or hear at their stage of life.
For example, many of us have movie channels on our television sets. If we have not placed parental controls on the access, our kids can wander into certain TV areas that they should not visit. How do you control where they go or what they access in this scenario? In many cases it can rely heavily on trust, which brings us to our next point.
ACTION: Learn what the technology can do from our kids (yes, from our kids) and then determine what things can be controlled. Give your kids the new technology and ask them to tell you how it works, even if you already know the details. For media, ask them how they distinguish between acceptable and unacceptable content. It is crucial to understand your kids’ thought processes for education and awareness.
FACT: Security is never 100%, ever.
In many cases it can only be 10% instruction and rules, 50% controls and options to prevent or filter inappropriate media, and 50% trust.
The problem is that trust is not limited to just your kid. Trust has to include the outside world as well. It does not matter if it is the trust with internet providers to block what they say they block, or the advertisers on TV to only show pg-rated content.
We can have faith that everyone is operating within the laws or guidelines, but we can't assume accidents won’t happen. As smart parents, we know this and have to plan on things happening that may not be your kid's fault.
Communication and education is the key at this point.
ACTION: Clearly tell your kid what to do if something unexpected happens. Always tell them that they can come to you without fear. Personally understand that they will test and experiment, but the importance is to make sure all incidents are told to you first. Stay in the communication loop. Let them know that if something happens and you find out by monitoring or reviewing, they may be blamed for it. You can consider this “safe” training for the real world.
FACT: Security is about education and communication.
Similar to the physical world, you have to pass on your knowledge to your kids about the virtual world. Tell them about viruses, hackers, online stalkers...everything you are aware of and how to deal with it. Again, the objective is to remain in the communication loop. In the physical world, you teach your child what to do if a stranger (or a known bully) approaches. Teach them how to deal with a virtual issue and give them plenty of examples.
In addition, make them aware of the ability to monitor and track their activity. They have to know that you are watching what goes on, just like you do when you are at home. Of course, I am not suggesting a police state at home, but make them aware that you expect them to be forthright and come to you with issues or access they stumbled upon. We should promise an open door policy so they feel comfortable to approach us if they accidentally violate our instructions.
ACTION: Teach them what you know about threats they could experience and how you expect them to deal with them. You may not have the answer or a way to deal with the issue, but at least you will know.
ACTION: Talk to them about your open door policy. Instill in them a sense of trust while informing them of the consequences in getting caught if they decide not to tell you upfront.
ACTION: Never waste an incident. Use each and every issue as means to teach your kids about the pitfalls and potential future outcomes. Show them how to avoid those same issues in the future. Teach them to police themselves, no matter how small the area you assign.
FACT: Safety is a measure of your perceptions in security at a certain time/place
Your perception of control and security and your kid’s perception will always be different. You may think that you have everything under control while your kid only defines safety in the physical realm. Kids can have a hard time believing that virtual actions can lead to physical harm. They may believe that they are anonymous and no one can track their activity. Kids may view taunting and harassment as joking around or playing jokes will not lead to any harm. You may think that these gaps can actually increase your security at home, especially if you believe you are anonymous. The reality is that security is never 100%, physically and electronically. Our job as parents is to make sure we communicate and level set our perception with our kid's perception once in a while.
As an example, long ago when I was a kid, I remember thinking that I would live forever and death was a very remote thing that happened when you were old. I was gently reminded by experiences and asking questions that death is something that can happen at any time. That same methodology needs to be applied to kids today about the virtual world.
ACTION: Talk with your kids about how and why they feel safe at home and online. Ask them if they feel that safety is important to them online. Let them know what you are doing and why you think they are protected. Try to be open and honest about what you are monitoring or filtering since being sneaky can reduce their trust in you. Be open and share what things each of you have seen or done online and how you can help each other out. I know this can sound a little over the top, but it personally works for me all the time. I find that if I play the D.A.D (Dumb As Dirt) card on the latest technology, my child will completely saturate me with what she has been able to do or what a friend has done...almost to the point of bragging. It is a great way to learn what other parents are doing (or not doing) while the child is focused on teaching her clueless dad.
We must be able to bend and flex with the times, implementing new strategies and actions as the situation demands.
We need to open our minds to conducting personal "what if" scenarios each time a new form of technology enters our world. Of course, this does not have to be to the nth degree, but should at least focus on what is new vs. the existing capabilities.
We should realize that at some point, we will depend on this technology to become a temporary babysitter for our kids while we are trying to get a few things done around the house. If we can begin to apply the concepts above and communicate our expectations clearly and routinely, we can certainly help increase our kid's level of security, trust and awareness of the pitfalls in using technology around the house.
We need to understand, and accept, that security is never 100% in both the physical and virtual world. Our goal as parents is to strive for complete security but understand that realistically we can only attempt to locate the gaps and provide a way for our kids to learn and adapt.
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Do you have a question for Rick Lawhorn about technology security in your home?
Email him at iKeepSafeNews[at]yahoo[dot]com
Rick Lawhorn CISSP, CISA, CHP, CHSS has over 18 years of experience in information technology which includes an extensive security, compliance, privacy and legal background. Rick has served as the CISO for GE Financial Assurance and Genworth Financial and has held information technology leadership roles within the Hunton &Williams law firm and the National White Collar Crime Center. He has been published in numerous international and domestic security magazines and currently serves on several advisory boards for new, innovative security products.
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